AAADD – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Filed under: Humor — Tags: , , , — Dan Monk @ 12:44 am

This is how my life works.

F

irst I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the front verandah table that I brought up from the letter box earlier, just after the mailman had been there.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage bin beside the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the post box when I take out the garbage anyway (and the mailman picks up the mail at noon), I may as well pay the bills first. So, I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My spare check book is in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to
my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking earlier this morning.

I know I going to look for my check book, but first I need to push the Coke can aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The Coke is warm, so I decide to put it in the refrigerator to make it cold again. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the dining room table catches my eye — they need
water.

I put the Coke on the dining room table and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to put more water in the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the table, go to the kitchen sink to get a jug and fill it with water and suddenly spot the TV remote on the window sill. Some one left it there.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the window sill, so I decide to put it back in the lounge room where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the jug, but spill some on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the kitchen bench, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed. the check’s aren’t written for the bills to be paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the dining room table, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, the garbage hasn’t been taken out and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired now.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I am going to check my e-mail.

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