Beating a dead Horse

The tribal wisdom of the Lakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in modern enterprises, because the objectives of management are often illogically focused on the performance of a particular horse rather than rationally on the completion of the journey, other strategies sometimes have to be tried, including, but not limited to the following:

  1. Buying a stronger whip.
  2. Changing riders.
  3. Threatening the horse with termination.
  4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
  5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
  6. Lowering the standards to include dead horses.
  7. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse.
  8. Creating a training session to increase the rider’s load share.
  9. Re-classify the dead horse as living-impaired.
  10. Change the form so that it reads: “This horse is not dead”
  11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
  12. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
  13. Process map the current and future route of the dead horse.
  14. Introduce a conformance policy which clearly indicates accountability of riders for the health of their horses.
  15. Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.
  16. Introduce an incentive scheme to encourage dead horses to run faster.
  17. Declare that a dead horse has a lower overhead and, therefore, performs better.
  18. Form a quality focus group to find ways of improving the efficiency of dead horses.
  19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
  20. Promote the dead horse to a management position.

Facebook Etiquette

I have a facebook page but I must admit I don’t use it much. I really don’t know how all that stuff works. If you don’t either may this video can help you understand the intricies of Facebook. It didn’t help me.

AAADD – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how my life works.
First I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the front verandah table that I brought up from the letter box earlier, just after the mailman had been there.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage bin beside the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the post box when I take out the garbage anyway (and the mailman picks up the mail at noon), I may as well pay the bills first. So, I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My spare check book is in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to
my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking earlier this morning.

I know I going to look for my check book, but first I need to push the Coke can aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The Coke is warm, so I decide to put it in the refrigerator to make it cold again. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the dining room table catches my eye — they need
water.

I put the Coke on the dining room table and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to put more water in the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the table, go to the kitchen sink to get a jug and fill it with water and suddenly spot the TV remote on the window sill. Some one left it there.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the window sill, so I decide to put it back in the lounge room where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the jug, but spill some on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the kitchen bench, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed. the check’s aren’t written for the bills to be paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the dining room table, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, the garbage hasn’t been taken out and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired now.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I am going to check my e-mail.

Thought for the day

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple.

But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. - George Bernard Shaw

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Did you know?

“God helps those who help themselves” is not in the Bible. Instead it says, My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2.

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