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	<title>Monks Website &#187; Humor</title>
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	<link>http://monkswebsite.com</link>
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		<title>Beating a dead Horse</title>
		<link>http://monkswebsite.com/beating-a-dead-horse/</link>
		<comments>http://monkswebsite.com/beating-a-dead-horse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:35:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dan Monk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beating a dead horse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[joke]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://monkswebsite.com/?p=185</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The tribal wisdom of the Lakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern enterprises, because the objectives of management are often illogically focused on the performance of a particular horse rather than rationally on the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The tribal wisdom of the Lakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.</p>
<p>However, in modern enterprises, because the objectives of management are often illogically focused on the performance of a particular horse rather than rationally on the completion of the journey, other strategies sometimes have to be tried, including, but not limited to the following:</p>
<ol>
<li>Buying a stronger whip.</li>
<li>Changing riders.</li>
<li>Threatening the horse with termination.</li>
<li>Appointing a committee to study the horse.</li>
<li>Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.</li>
<li>Lowering the standards to include dead horses.</li>
<li>Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse.</li>
<li>Creating a training session to increase the rider&#8217;s load share.</li>
<li>Re-classify the dead horse as living-impaired.</li>
<li>Change the form so that it reads: &#8220;This horse is not dead&#8221;</li>
<li>Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.</li>
<li>Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.</li>
<li>Process map the current and future route of the dead horse.</li>
<li>Introduce a conformance policy which clearly indicates accountability of riders for the health of their horses.</li>
<li>Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.</li>
<li>Introduce an incentive scheme to encourage dead horses to run faster.</li>
<li>Declare that a dead horse has a lower overhead and, therefore, performs better.</li>
<li>Form a quality focus group to find ways of improving the efficiency of dead horses.</li>
<li>Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.</li>
<li>Promote the dead horse to a management position.</li>
</ol>
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		<title>Facebook Etiquette</title>
		<link>http://monkswebsite.com/facebook-etiquette/</link>
		<comments>http://monkswebsite.com/facebook-etiquette/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:30:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dan Monk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://monkswebsite.com/?p=95</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have a facebook page but I must admit I don&#8217;t use it much. I really don&#8217;t know how all that stuff works. If you don&#8217;t either may this video can help you understand the intricies of Facebook. It didn&#8217;t help me.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have a facebook page but I must admit I don&#8217;t use it much. I really don&#8217;t know how all that stuff works. If you don&#8217;t either may this video can help you understand the intricies of Facebook. It didn&#8217;t help me.</p>
<p><a href="http://monkswebsite.com/facebook-etiquette/"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>AAADD &#8211; Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder</title>
		<link>http://monkswebsite.com/aaadd-age-activated-attention-deficit-disorder/</link>
		<comments>http://monkswebsite.com/aaadd-age-activated-attention-deficit-disorder/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Feb 2009 00:44:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dan Monk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[age]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[getting old]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://monkswebsite.com/?p=27</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is how my life works. F irst I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the front verandah table that I brought up from the letter [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is how my life works.</p>
<div class="cap">F</div>
<p>irst I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the front verandah table that I brought up from the letter box earlier, just after the mailman had been there.</p>
<p>I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage bin beside the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.</p>
<p>But then I think, since I&#8217;m going to be near the post box when I take out the garbage anyway (and the mailman picks up the mail at noon), I may as well pay the bills first. So, I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My spare check book is in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to<br />
my desk where I find the can of Coke I&#8217;d been drinking earlier this morning.</p>
<p>I know I going to look for my check book, but first I need to push the Coke can aside so that I don&#8217;t accidentally knock it over. The Coke is warm, so I decide to put it in the refrigerator to make it cold again. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the dining room table catches my eye &#8212; they need<br />
water.</p>
<p>I put the Coke on the dining room table and discover my reading glasses that I&#8217;ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I&#8217;m going to put more water in the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the table, go to the kitchen sink to get a jug and fill it with water and suddenly spot the TV remote on the window sill. Some one left it there.</p>
<p>I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I&#8217;ll be looking for the remote, but I won&#8217;t remember that it&#8217;s on the window sill, so I decide to put it back in the lounge room where it belongs, but first I&#8217;ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the jug, but spill some on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the kitchen bench, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.</p>
<p>At the end of the day: the car isn&#8217;t washed. the check&#8217;s aren&#8217;t written for the bills to be paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the dining room table, the flowers don&#8217;t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can&#8217;t find the remote, I can&#8217;t find my glasses, the garbage hasn&#8217;t been taken out and I don&#8217;t remember what I did with the car keys.</p>
<p>Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I&#8217;m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I&#8217;m really tired now.</p>
<p>I realize this is a serious problem, and I&#8217;ll try to get some help for it, but first I am going to check my e-mail.</p>
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